Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
