fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
