you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
