Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
