Have you finally orgasmed yet?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
