Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
