Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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