i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
