Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
