Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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