you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
