we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
They should really pass out barf bags in church
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Randomize
