Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
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