You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
