What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
