Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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