i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
