MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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