I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
