alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
