She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
