He kissed a someone with a penis
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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