from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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