so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
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