Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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