I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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