The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
