But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
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