we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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