My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize