I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize