I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
