I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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