I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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