Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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