i already hear my dad disowning me
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I woke up under a house in Key West
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