the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
