Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
