After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
