My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
