Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize