I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Michael Bay diarrhea
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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