They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
