My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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