i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
