Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
