dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
if only i could text you this smell
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
