im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
he high fived his dick after we had sex
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
