The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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