Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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