I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
