omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
