i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
