Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
it wasn't lemon gatorade
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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