he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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