I'm sorry my penis didn't work
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
