I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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