Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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