just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
