walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
He has the fingertips of a God
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
