So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
