Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
