I think I am morally bankrupt
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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